I was reading a friend's Facebook note the other day, and realized that I was really supposed to read it.  You know those instances in life when you're reading something or working on something and you get this feeling like "wow, I really should be doing this" or "wow, I really should have done that thing the other day; I'm glad I did!", and then you realize it's the Holy Spirit telling you....well, that's what this was.

I had been in a long-term relationship that ended early June 2007.  There were some times when I would (and sometimes do, actually) feel guilty.  I would think that I should apologize for something...but I never knew what exactly, or even some weirder things would enter my mind.

Some of the quotes that made me realize my mistakes in thinking those things (mainly believing them, notsomuch thinking them) are here:

1) "Experience is not everything.  I believe that a smart person learns fromt heir own mistakes, true, but a wise person learns from the mistakes of others." ~ Alexis Makridakis in her note "Define the Relationship"

2) "Communication is more than talking.  Talking involves sending a message.  Communication includes the reception of that message as well.  the goal of communication is to bring two people to a common and clear understanding." (32) Define the Relationship

3) "Unsettled frustrations lead to unrestrained outbursts." ~ Alexis Makridakis paraphrasing Define the Relationship

4) "You can observe someone's spiritual direction by watching him in five different areas --

             a) Interaction w/ the Word of God
             b) Worship
             c) Prayer
             d) Fellowship w/ others
             e) Sharing the Faith
"If the person you're dating no longer exhibits a passion to turn his eyes from worthless things and refresh his commitments to the LORD, and if he no longer brings the Word, hidden in his memory, to mind at crucial moments or uses Scripture to quickly challenge and redirect any decisions that could take him down the wrong path, beware of the spiritual direction in which he is heading...A person wlaking in the Spirit will not conintually desire what [his] sinful nature lusts to have.  A person alive in christ will desire His Word, long to worship Him, eagerly pray, always submit to corporate and private fellowship, and demonstrate a desire to share the faith.  it's not that a person will ever do these things perfectly.  It's the bent of the heart that matters." (97, Define the Relationship)

5) "Granting forgiveness to another person means surrendering your sense of being entitled to hurt the person who hurt you.  it means submitting to GOD your felt right to avenge yourself." (129, Define the Relationship)

6) "The closer a man and woman draw to the LORD, the better able they are to relate to each other.  Growing close to GOD enables Him to build His character in them." (175, Define the Relationship)

7) "If someone is living by the law of the land and the other by GOD's laws, then relating to each other will be impossible." (Alexis quoting Define the Relationship)

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And then there is another quote I found this morning from a blog by themarriedfreshman named "Sex, from a married Christian Woman's Point of View":

8) "Wandering thoughts indicate wandering hearts.  Don't wander.  Don't wonder.  Just love."